Zuko fell victim to both physical and emotional abuse and manipulation at the hands of his father, while Mai fell victim to her parents’ emotional abuse and manipulation
Both Zuko and Mai share a secondary abuser (Azula) who has tried to emotionally control and manipulate them
Zuko was closer to his mother; when he strayed away from his father’s expectations of him he was verbally and/or physically punished by his father
Mai wasn’t close to either of her parents due to their emotional manipulation of her; when she strayed away from her mother’s expectations, she was shut down, or her privileges were taken from her
Zuko reacted to his abuse by becoming even more determined to gain his father’s love and acceptance while Mai distanced herself emotionally to keep herself from being hurt further
This difference in reaction is primarily due to the end goal of each respective victim’s abuse, or the end goal of the abuser:
Zuko: I just want my father’s love, so I’m going to do everything in my power to win his acceptance.
Mai: There’s no use in me fighting for my own independence. or for what I want, because my parents and my secondary abuser are very controlling and manipulative, so I’m going to wall myself off and just not care. After all, courtesy is a lady’s armor.
Gender norms and abuse
This is more theoretical given how little we know about Mai, but this theory is inspired by a little reblog I saw on on of my posts. Anyway, my theory is that, had the show given us more background on Mai, the following parallel would have been made evident (although we kind of get a little hint of it actually being the case):
Ozai is very masculine, believing in tradition ideas of masculinity (honor, mercilessness, brute strength, power, etc). He attempted to instill this traditional sense of masculinity on both of his children
While this worked on Azula, it did not work on Zuko, who was always more in tune with more traditionally female traits (compassion, empathy, mercy, love,being emotional)
Ozai punished Zuko for his more feminine characteristics, wanting him to embody more masculine traits
While Zuko tried to adhere to his father’s idea of manliness during his exile, he ultimately could and would not do it, staying true to his roots
As for the more theoretical part of this theory, I think it can be argued that Mai was meant to be brought up as a proper lady, and that Ukano and Michi tried to sculpt her into what they thought a proper lady ought to be
While she had been girlish and openly emotional as a child (as we see in the Zuko Alone flashback), she eventually began to exhibit more masculine traits by becoming more stoic and not caring about her emotions the way she used to (She is, however, emotionally open with people who have not abused or manipulated her: Ty Lee, her uncle, Zuko, Kei Lo)
Ultimately, however, Mai chooses love and emotion (a traditionally female trait) by saving Zuko (”I love Zuko, more than I fear you)
Funnily enough, however, the trope of the guy saving the girl and then later showing up at the girl’s doorstep alive and well is flip-flopped, with Zuko being the one who needs saving, and Mai being the one to save him (thus keeping up with the “Maiko has its gender norms reversed” theme)
Coping mechanisms for abuse
Mai became stoic and walled herself off, while Zuko would become angry and began to act out (Book 1 Zuko)
Mai learns to become emotionally open, while Zuko learns to reign in his anger
Both have been trained in the use of melee weapons. Zuko has his dao swords, and Mai has her knives
Both are closer to their uncles than their fathers
Mai’s arc is about her reclaiming her agency from Azula, while Zuko’s arc is about him realizing that he doesn’t have to be what his father wants him to be
Zuko stands up to Ozai in “The Day of Black Sun,” while Mai stands up to Azula in “The Boiling Rock”
Ozai uses lightening against Zuko in an attempt to kill him, only to have Zuko redirect it
Azula tries to use lightening against Mai in an attempt to kill her, only to have Ty Lee chi block Azula
While both Zuko and Mai have changed significantly since Zuko’s banishment, both learn to embrace who they were prior to Zuko’s exile (even if they’re still fairly different people than whom they had been at that time)
don’t just pay it. do not automatically pay the hospital bill when you receive it. call your health insurance provider and POLITELY say, “excuse me, i just received a bill for $1200 for my hospital visit/ER visit/etc., is that the correct amount i’m supposed to pay?” because hospitals bill you before your health insurance and they will take your money no matter how the amount due may change based on your health insurance looking at it. 90% of the time, if your health insurance is in any way involved in the payment of that bill, you do not have to pay as much as the hospital is billing you for. call your health insurance provider first, and POLITELY request clarification, always remember that the person you are talking to is human and this is just their job, and then you will very likely find out you actually only owe $500.
don’t shout at anyone about it, don’t get mad, just understand that this is The Way Things Are right now and call your health insurance provider before paying the bill your hospital just sent you. there’s a chance the hospital bill might be correct, true, but call your health insurance provider.
THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT. after my car accident last year the hospital billed me ~$8000. They sent me letters asking me to pay, and I called them back saying my insurance was processing the claim. This is also what I told the collection agency when they kept calling me about the $1000 emergency room fee (billed separately from the hospital fee, mind you). Once everything got straightened out, all I was actually liable for was my $200 emergency copay.
!!!!!!! things my ass didn’t know !!!!!!!!
Yes this is a life lesson my adulting ass didn’t know I needed and I’m out 80 bucks for an anti-nausea pill. 😒😒😒😒😒
Reblogging for American friends.
Also, it is important [for people receiving medical care in the USA] to carefully read all of the items on the medical bill and look for errors and overcharges. I know that the normal feelings of avoidance and dread can make it hard to look at scary hospital bills, and that’s okay! But as the OP mentions, private orgs like hospitals don’t monitor overpayment of bills - they are motivated to charge you extra - and it is basically impossible to get your money back. Read the bill carefully and make sure that the charges are correct, using the links below for help if you need. If they haven’t sent you an itemized list, you can ask for one. Sometimes you will be charged extra for items or treatment you didn’t receive. Most people don’t know that you can dispute medical bills! But in 2009, Consumer Reports stated that 8 out of 10 medical bills scrutinized by a watchdog had errors, and generally you are not obligated to pay for someone else’s error.
You may be charged for using medication that you actually brought into the hospital with you - that’s easy to dispute! You may be charged for the consumables used during your stay such as sheets, gloves, gowns, etc - the hospital should actually cover that under its running budget. You may be charged for a brand name drug if the generic was available for cheaper - the links below explain how and when you can dispute this. You may be charged a surprisingly expensive “oral administration fee” (where a nurse puts pills for you to take in a little clean paper cup and then hands it to you) but that’s worth disputing if you were actually able to take the pill out of a bottle and put it in your own mouth. And so on.
since another snk live action film has been announced, I WONT ACCEPT ANOBODY TO PLAY ARMIN EXCEPT FOR NOAH SCHNAPP OK, he’s just so fucking pure and he can dye his hair as well
- try not to panic or hyperventilate, it’ll make the experience 10x worse. this has been the most effective thing I’ve done. try to get really affectionate about something instead, like your cat, or your otp.
- I know everyone says to move your fingers or toes but honestly, it just reminds me I’m mostly paralyzed, so instead I lie very still, which means I can pretend I can move, which offsets the panic
- seriously, you can’t wake up out of it by trying to fall out of bed or getting someone to shake you. your body will wake up when it wants and not before. just stay still and pretend it’s your choice to do so
- that auditory hallucination? that’s just the edgy hot topic preteen in your subconscious you thought you buried ten years ago.
- keep your eyes plastered shut. keep them shut. if you can’t control your eyelids, then try to sleep so that something covers your eyes. my brain’s a lot less creative when it can’t see any dim shapes in the room that it can morph into something terrifying
- things that mess with your melatonin levels can have weird effects on sleep paralysis
- naps or “I just woke up two hours ago but now I want more sleep” can be more susceptible to sleep paralysis
- don’t try to go back to sleep right after sleep paralysis. it
sucks but it’ll usually just come back and that’ll leave you even more
tired. go look at memes
Anonymous asked: i agree with the anon. when i first watched snk s1 i ravedddd about the animation countless times, it is one of the best i've seen (and the first time i watched snk s1 was probs 7 months ago) and now after watching s2, and rewatching s1 (because i forgot some things) man oh man do s1's animation look much more...eh? s2's animation is basically flawless. its even more amazing after i know that they are understaffed
The crew who works on Attack on Titan are all very passionate about it, and I think it really shows, honsetly. It’s nice to see how much love and care is being put into even the tiniest details.
Reiner: So Eren, what lovely weather we have today, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, I'm the armoured titan, Bertholdt is the colossus titan, the birds are singing. Everything is just fine. How about we go have a nice cup of tea?
Theme
8:28am
December 9, 2019
1,159 notes
Anonymous asked: i agree with the anon. when i first watched snk s1 i ravedddd about the animation countless times, it is one of the best i've seen (and the first time i watched snk s1 was probs 7 months ago) and now after watching s2, and rewatching s1 (because i forgot some things) man oh man do s1's animation look much more...eh? s2's animation is basically flawless. its even more amazing after i know that they are understaffed